Flailchain

I don’t like to keep my car key on my normal keychain. I don’t drive very often and the car key is quite bulky, so I just have the car key separate and only take it out when I am driving somewhere. Unfortunately, I have recently dropped the car key a few times from my pocket, which leads me to believe I need to have a keychain on the car key so that it is less likely to slip out. I was browsing Amazon on a whim to see what kind of keychains they had and I found some truly interesting ones…

The above review is a good one, but please ignore the advice about sharpening keys and using the kubotan as a flail. This is unlikely to provide any real stopping power to a determined attacker. The kubotan excels as a loadfist weapon, so use it to enhance your hammerfist and punch strikes. You can also use the point to ’stab’ your attacker’s body points and bony targets like the back of the hand can be excruciatingly painful when struck. In other words use the kubotan like it was intended to do so. Nowhere in any traditional yawara training is it used like a mini-flail like the above poster suggested.

What the heck?!?! So of course I had to look up kubotan, and I was not impressed by what I saw. Basically you are still using empty-hands techniques, but your techniques may work a little bit better. Of course in the hands of an expert this can be devastating, but you’re probably better off just putting some mace on your keychain (you see what I did there?) for self-defense. And if I really want to feel safe, I’ll stick with the Mr. T in Your Pocket Talking Keychain.

Long Form Two

I was reading this funny article on Movie Fighting Styles, and was impressed at the inclusion of Gun Kata. Man, that video really brought back memories of how sweet Gun Kata looked, even if the movie was a bit silly. The sticky hands with firearms exercise was especially awesome.

I also like that the list-maker brought up relevant questions about the situational efficiacy of certain styles.

But what if you’re in an enclosed space, and the only way out is being blocked by a pommel horse and a spinning gymkata master?

These kinds of questions keep me awake at night.

So Disappointing

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it! I’ve been out of town this weekend, and I just had a chance to camp out Chinatown and buy some more DVD’s that are hard to find in Virginia. I watched Kung Fu Hustle and The Twins Effect 2. Kung Fu Hustle was pretty decent if you are in the mood for cheese, and it’s by the same fellow who did Shaolin Soccer (I think). It’s not meant to be taken seriously, and it was reasonably entertaining.

On the other hand, The Twins Effect 2 was a disappointment on the scale of Volcano High. I’m not saying I stayed up like 10 hours to watch it on a flight to Taiwan or anything, but I was hoping it would have decent action. It was in the Donnie Yen section and the cover had him and Jackie Chan on it and everyone was looking all serious and ominous. I mean, that sounds like a sure winner when you are looking for a kung fu movie, right? WRONG! There’s this one dopey guy on the cover, and I had no clue who he was. My dad told me not to buy it because it was just a vehicle for Jackie Chan to get his son a role, but I didn’t believe him. Turns out the dopey guy on the cover is Jaycee Chan and he is the worst actor evaaaaar. Like take a young Jackie Chan, make his face more horselike, take away anything funny about him, and make him unable to fight; there you have Jaycee. I mean, I could take the beginning where it felt all Power Rangers with Amazons (even though they are in China?) in purple armor, but once Jaycee hit the screen it was all downhill. Unfortunately, Jaycee is the hero of the story and is even involved in a nonsensical romance with one of the female leads. The silly pop-idols were actually the best part, and there was little action past the initial 30 minutes. I can just picture Donnie Yen being forced into this movie by Jackie calling in a favor. In my mind, I can totally see him reading the script and getting to the part where the evil queen’s spell causes all the men to grow breasts and just wanting to rip Jackie’s spine out. Did I mention Excalibur is featured in this movie (not even Excalipur)? Seriously, there should be a warning on the cover of movies like this. This movie should be rated C for “crap”.

Ugh, so if anyone knows any good modern kung fu movies, please let me know. I own like every decent movie by Jet Li and even all those horrible TV-series by Donnie Yen and the well is starting to run dry. At this point, I think I consider Jet Li’s rendition of Fist of Legend to be the best kung fu flick I’ve ever seen, as it has just enough story spaced in between the amazingly choreographed fight scenes. Jet Li hasn’t been as good in recent movies, although Hero was very well done. Is there some awesome actor I don’t know about that I should look into?

Just a Grunt

Well, the FF series at Penny Arcade ended today, and it certainly left some unanswered questions. None of which will be discussed in this forum. What will be discussed, however, is this story, featured on ESPN’s website! I don’t know who she is, but if she’s louder than Monica Seles, it must be quite a decibal decimating, an eardrum eviscerating grunt that she is issuing forth! Imagine the poor umpire - what exactly do you say to the grunting offender? I wonder if tennis-crazed parents (like say… Mr. Williams) ever tell their kids to grunt so loudly to intimidate their opponents. It reminds me of those insane yells at Karate competitions. I understand that it’s all about channeling ki and energy and all, but when I did Tae Kwon Do I never shrieked my lungs out like that… Well, whatever works I suppose. Phones lines were turned on today. I’m one step closer to DSL and internet. While there won’t be any new art posted on KOLAAP until I get my tablet, I plan to link my art site to my Blog and update some links. I also made a new banner too that I’d like to post when I get the chance. No more cruddy service at public libraries, hooo-rah! In the library I always have to keep my grunts of joy quiet for fear of being issued a warning…