The Matrix

Unlike TheDragOnfruitS, I didn’t get pictures of my “cyst” for record keeping. The silver lining, however, is that I got a sweet Pathology Report:

GROSS DESCRIPTION:
The specimen is received fresh, identified with the patient’s name with initials [K], and labeled as “mass of left cheek.” It consists of an unoriented ellipse of tan, hairbearing skin measuring 1.5 x 0.5 cm and up to 1.1 cm in thickness. The specimen is serially sectioned and the cut surface reveals an intact cystic structure with a smooth membranous lining, which exudes a white, thick material. The specimen is entirely submitted in cassette A.

Gross description indeed! So the final diagnosis is that my lump was a Pilomatrixoma. The surgeon described it as a “benign tumor” to me. The size was not quite what I thought during my still-kinda-groggy state, but perhaps there was extra flesh around it (I was about half an inch off). Interesting that the dimensions were given in the metric system. If you hate yourself, you can click this link and see someone peeling aside a skin flap to expose a pilomatrixoma. Compared to some of the (horrible) pictures I’ve seen, mine was pretty tame. It basically just looked like my cheek had a slight, gradual bump in the middle.

The plastic surgeon took the square patch bandage off and took the sutures out. It was painless. My cheek is slightly depressed in the area where the pilomatrixoma was, and I can see the cut was kinda curved, similar to the way laugh lines run. I have a small piece of special tape holding the cut together now, and I have a checkup in about 3 weeks. I was happy to hear that the growth was benign, and my preliminary web research indicates they do not regrow. I was even happier to hear that I can eat a burger tonight.

I Want A Burger So Badly

This liquid diet is driving me nuts. I have been watching Food Network constantly and reading cookbooks. I can’t stop thinking about how great it will be to chew my food again. The latest servings of cheddar broccoli soup (just ok) and potato leek soup (bland, kinda gross and sweet) did nothing to distract me from my obsession.

I think I get my stitches out this afternoon. Hopefully everything is mostly healed up, although I think I met get some temporary glue strips or something placed on my cheek as a precaution. I just want to hear that I can eat again. There have been so many times where I found myself saying (to myself), “Oh, it will probably be ok if you eat that ____ , I’m sure it won’t make a difference.” The temptation has really tested my faith in doctors!

Soup Extravaganza

So I’m in day 3 of my “No talking, no straws, no chewing” mission. It sucks. I’ve been home for three days which sounds awesome, but isn’t. I can’t really do anything at all or leave the house. I just hope there is no scarring, since that would make the ordeal worth it. I’ve been trying to keep up a decent diet in spite of everything, and I have been taking vitamins as well. On the plus side, I have also tried a lot of new non-solid foods lately.

Bad:

• V8 Tropical Orange Juice: It’s ok for V8 I guess, but you can tell it’s got weird stuff in it.
• Golden Mushroom Soup: Doesn’t taste good, and the soggy mushroom bits are too big. The tomato puree gives the soup a strange taste.
• Peaches n’ Cream Yogurt: This doesn’t taste like peaches at all. It actually tastes like FAIL.
• Tomatoes and Herb Soup: Actually well put-together (one of those nice boxed soups), but I found out I don’t like tomato soup. It makes me feel like I am sucking down a ton of pasta sauce.

Good:

• Portabella Soup: It looks gross, but this soup had a really pleasant texture and taste.
• Vanilla Pudding: Easily the MVP of the bunch.
• Key Lime Yogurt: Nice and tart, this yogurt tasted like I expected it to.

Pending:

• Butternut Squash Soup: I am kinda scared about this one.
• Broccoli Soup: I usually like broccoli, but it looks strange on the cover.
• Sweet Red Pepper: Not sure what to expect… Sweet soup?

I have been longing for a nice crusty hunk of bread to go with the soup. This diet is killing me. I can’t wait to get the stitches removed so I can have a burger. I haven’t felt any pain, but I looked up the painkillers and it sounds like they are totally weaksauce!

Edit (Soup Updates):

• Butternut Squash Soup: Tasted surprisingly awesome.
• Broccoli Soup: Now I know why this is usually combined with cheese. The broccoli taste was a bit much for me.
• Sweet Red Pepper: Kinda bland, and not that tasty.

Cyst Removed

I had my plastic surgery today to remove the cyst from my left cheek. I had to get to the surgery waiting area at 5:15 AM for my 8:00 AM surgery. Mostly nurses and the anesthesiologist asked me the same questions about allergies and fillings over and over again while I tried to watch CNN (all about Obama and his tire gauge). I appreciated the redundant questioning, and the staff constantly checked to make sure I was the right person and that I was getting the right procedure done. I also made sure to tie all the appropriate ties on my hospital gown so that I didn’t flash my goods at any of the hospital staff.

When the time came for surgery, my bed was wheeled into a chilly room with some scary looking large lights and tools. The doctors hooked my IV up (I hate those things) to a sedative, and I started getting a little groggy. By the time they got me on the bed and tucked my arm in, I was pretty out of it, and I don’t remember much after that.

I woke up to feeling some pressure on the left side of my face (which was totally numbed with Novocain), and the procedure was done. I was told everything went well and the first thing I wanted to do was to see my cyst. Wow, it was huge! They had removed a big gumball sized hunk of flesh. It was fairly spherical and almost an inch in diameter! I had a hard time believing that that was in my cheek. I guess the stuff will be sent to a pathologist for testing, and I kinda wish I could have taken a picture of it. It was funny watching the plastic surgeon just rotating the flesh bit around in the tupperware container thing.

I felt pretty sharp as soon as I woke up, but looking back I was probably still a little out of it. The staff monitored me for about another hour to make sure I came out of the anesthesia ok. Meanwhile, Bunky waited impatiently because her Blackberry didn’t seem to work in the waiting area… My face is still really numb and I have a big patch on my face. The gauze is on for two days to absorb any seepage, and underneath are some hydrophobic sutures and coverings apparently. After that I think the sutures will fall off, and I will go back on Monday to get some extra patch on the wound.

The surgeon told me to take Tylenol and gave me a prescription for Darvocet so that I can pretend I am House-lite. I’m hoping I won’t need it, since the painkillers I took after getting my wisdom teeth removed made me nauseous. For five days I am only allowed to talk through clenched teeth (and even then, sparingly), and I cannot chew or use straws. I had a depressing supermarket sweep with Bunky to buy soups, pudding, V8, and applesauce. However, I’m really anxious to see how the cheek looks after everything is said and done. Hopefully any scarring will be minimal.