Farsighted Undead Vampires

I walked through the snow for my eye exam today, thinking it would be pretty routine. I arrived 15 minutes early and proceeded to wait until 45 minutes after my appointment time. The checkup went pretty well, as both my eyes are healthy and the eye doctor showed me the replacement for the “puff machine”. Rather than the horrible puff machine, you get your eyes numbed with drops and the doctor touches your eye with some kind of machine to test the pressure. I didn’t feel anything, and it wasn’t too weird for me since I wear contacts. Sadly, I did not get to shoot lasers (pew pew) at tanks like Velius.

Things were going pretty well until I got a second set of drops. I felt like I was buffing up for a raid or something with all these eye drops, but I did what I was told. These drops dilate your eyes and kinda paralyze the muscles so they cannot refocus well. Basically, I can no longer focus on things within an arms length of me, and I am sensitive to sunlight. When I got the explanation the first time, it didn’t sound so bad, but after about 10 minutes the eyedrops started to work and I couldn’t even see my watch (which I have trouble reading even when I can see it perfectly). I took a glimpse in the mirror and found I was all doe-eyed like a Disney character, too.

Then, when I stepped outside, I found out that “sensitive to sunlight” really meant that “even overcast light will burn your eyeballs out.” I refused to wear the dorky plastic film sunglasses, and did what anyone in my position would do. I crossed a whole bunch of streets with my eyes shut and stumbled back to work. My mind sorta recoils at this new farsightedness, and I can barely see the computer screen now. Even worse, the debuff apparently lasts 4+ hours…

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