Puffery
Last night, Ender and I had a lengthy discussion about Tae Kwon Do, and then this morning I found this intriguing article about realistic estimations of prowess against vicious 12-year-old boys. This actually occupied my mind for much of this morning, and I have to question some of the evidence provided. The author claims to be able to take out seven of the attackers before succumbing to fatigue and groin/shin kicks. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that this was an over-estimation. His stronger, taller friend claims a dozen, which I consider even more of a miscalculation.
The thing is, it only takes one or two people to distract you long enough to land a sharp strike to a sensitive area, and once you go down, it’s all over. Even though I hold a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, I doubt I could hold off a dozen attackers. If you were able to break a circle of attack, you would still need to take out each attacker with the minimal amount of effort and blows. I would imagine you could not afford more than one or two blows per attacker, without risking a takedown or a groin kick. Also, since the attackers would be shorter, hand strike selection would be limited (although kicks might be safer than usual). The saving grace is that the attackers would be much more fragile and lighter than your typical attacker, but with many attackers, it is much more difficult to target areas that would enable a quick neutralization.
I don’t think I would win against more than four 12-year olds. I pick that number because I could probably take out 1-2 quickly (assuming they are not skilled fighters), and then only be slightly outnumbered. To take out twelve, the kids would have to line up and take turns one by one. Fighting multiple opponents is not as easy as people think. Now if they were 6-year-olds…
This is also a reason not to get into a real fight unless absolutely necessary. Even against an unarmed opponent, it is easy to get overwhelmed (but you should always fight dirty!).
Elsewhere Online | Kabitzin 7/18/2005
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By Ender, 7/18/2005 @ 1:28 pm
Fighting dirty is the key aspect here! I feel that if it weren’t for the groin shots (which are an automatic critical hit), you could probably take on a lot more of them. Also, the teamwork of the twelve-year olds is crucial as well. If they were very well coordinated (each grabbing a predesignated part of the body in a synchronized fashion and not getting in each other’s way), you could probably only nail one before being swarmed by a giant mob of flesh that simply weighs you down.
I can’t believe we’re having a serious discussion about this.
By Velius, 7/18/2005 @ 2:59 pm
These are 12 year olds, just toss a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards onto the floor and watch them tear each other apart over them. Why waste precious energy fighting them when you can just make them fight each other and just administer the final blow to the last, staggering survivor. The best part of this strategy is you can even get the cards back. Just pry them from the cold, unconscious hands of the kids.
By Phil, 7/18/2005 @ 4:08 pm
Boot to the head! Have u ever heard people bash TKD for it’s use of kicks? Silly karate fools … the kicks are powerful and have a long reach!
By Ender, 7/18/2005 @ 11:16 pm
If you toss a pack of YugiOh cards down, you are signaling that you want to dddddduel! Then they will all bust out their decks and you’ll be in a pinch.
By Velius, 7/19/2005 @ 10:33 am
Meh, at least you have distracted them long enough to probably make your move.